Perfection, but at What Price?

Perfectionists, research shows, can become easily discouraged by failing to meet impossibly high standards, making them reluctant to take on new challenges or even complete agreed-upon tasks. The insistence on dotting all the i’s can also breed inefficiency, causing delays, work overload and even poor results. Perfectionism can hurt health and relationships, too. It is associated with anorexia, obsessive-compulsive disorder, social anxiety, writer’s block, alcoholism and depression.

Such perfectionism problems may be more widespread than we think: a 2007 study that evaluated more than 1,500 college students revealed that nearly one quarter of them suffered from an unhealthy form of perfectionism.

And yet in recent years, some psychologists have collected evidence suggesting that perfectionism encompasses positive qualities, including a drive to succeed, an inclination to plan and organise, and a focus on excellence. Why else would people say proudly at job interviews ‘Oh, I am a real perfectionist!’? Healthy perfectionists embrace the trait’s sunnier side while minimising its darker features.

In recent years researchers have developed tools to measure the beneficial and the not-so-beneficial, aspects of perfectionism. In addition, they are developing treatment programs that push perfectionistic tendencies in a more positive direction. By the way, perfectionism is not an official psychiatric illness! Nevertheless, therapy not only may make the person happier and more successful but may even help to improve associated mental illnesses, from anorexia to anxiety disorders.

Enemy of the Good
Psychologists have long been aware of the problems of perfectionism. In a 1980 article entitled “The Perfectionist’s Script for Self-Defeat,” psychiatrist and author David Burns wrote that perfectionism backfires when people measure their own worth entirely in terms of productivity and achievement. Vulnerable to a loss of self-esteem and painful mood swings after any setback, such people apply themselves inconsistently and ultimately accomplish less because of their perfectionism.

More recent work points to the psychological perils of unreasonable aspirations, which set people up to fail. In a 2003 study, psychologist Peter Bieling (McMaster University, Canada) evaluated 198 students for perfectionism and then asked them what grade they wanted to get on an upcoming midterm exam. The perfectionists aimed for higher grades than non-perfectionists did, but on average, the two types of students performed the same on the test; the perfectionists were thus more likely to fall short of their ambitions. And rather than adjusting their expectations to reality, perfectionists who did not get the grades they wanted insisted on keeping or even raising the bar for the next exam. These high standards, rigidly upheld, can lead increasingly to feelings of failure.

Perfectionists may also adopt inefficient work habits that hurt their actual performance. They may labour slowly, agonising over every detail, spending much more time on a project than it warrants—and often without much additional benefit. They may postpone and shelves things, because projects that must be perfect often seem daunting.

No one is a perfectionist in every situation or area of life. Some people are perfectionists in the neatness of their home, others in their work, still others in their physical appearance or relationships—for example, wanting to pen the ideal personalised note inside dozens of Christmas cards every year.

Regardless, such tendencies can be especially evident when the stakes are high. In a 1990 study psychologists Randy Frost and Patricia Marten asked 51 female college students—some of whom scored high on a perfectionism scale—to rewrite a paragraph from a textbook, measuring their emotional state before and after the task. Highly perfectionistic students did fine when the pressure was low. But when told that their work would be evaluated and compared with that of other people, they rated the task as more important and felt worse about it than non-perfectionists did. What is more, the perfectionists’ writing turned out to be inferior in general—probably because perfectionists, fearing criticism, avoid opportunities to get editing feedback and consequently do not develop their skills, the authors speculated.

As the gap between their expectations and their results widens, perfectionists may lose even more confidence, causing them to shrink from new challenges. Ironically, the more emphasis perfectionists place on excellence—the more they care—the more they may undermine their own chances of success. Psychologists Paul Hewitt and Gordon Flett have called this phenomenon the “perfectionism paradox.” As Voltaire once said, “The best is the enemy of the good.”

The Development of Perfection
Perfectionism may spring from parents who explicitly demand that kids live up to high standards. Alternatively, children of neglectful parents may imagine that doing everything right will help them get noticed. In some cases, children living in a chaotic household may aim for perfection as a way of establishing some control over an unpredictable environment. In addition, perfectionist parents may instill the behaviour by example.

Initially children may find that perfectionism works for them. Maybe they’re not getting too much attention, so they work hard in school and get rewarded for it. The harder they work, the more careful they are, the better they do. But then the situation changes. They go from school to university, where if you try to read the entire reading list you find you can’t do it and you get behind, and then you can’t hand the paper in, because it’s not good enough, and you’re staying up all night and getting stressed.

Another way perfectionism can turn on people is if they apply it to an inappropriate area of their life, such as when a serious student decides to devote that same focus to dieting. Such devotion can lead to anorexia. Some types of perfectionism may be particularly problematic in relationships. Hewitt and Flett have developed a scale that identifies “socially prescribed” perfectionists—such individuals feel stressed out by the high expectations of people they care about and worry about disappointing them—and “other-oriented” perfectionists, who scrutinise those around them and bully them to do better.

Healthy Perfectionism
Nevertheless, some psychologists say that perfectionism has its pluses. Indeed, one of the most widely used measures of the trait developed in the early 1990s by a team led by Frost assesses such arguably positive qualities as the tendencies to set high standards and to be organised, along with more problematic ones such being afraid of making mistakes and giving in to self-doubt.

The notion that perfectionism may be a blend of positive and negative dimensions, though not endorsed by Frost, stems in part from a 1993 study of his. He and his colleagues evaluated 553 people, using both his scale and Hewitt and Flett’s, and found that certain characteristics clustered together. Attributes such as being haunted by mistakes and feeling oppressed by other people’s expectations were strongly correlated with one another and with depression; Frost called these “maladaptive evaluation concerns.” Other tendencies, including setting high standards and striving to meet self-imposed goals, were strongly correlated with one another and with a positive outlook; Frost called this grouping “positive striving.” Each individual seems to have a particular balance of these maladaptive and positive traits.

Psychologists are increasingly convinced that some strains of perfectionism can positively affect a person’s wellbeing and success. After all, the willingness to work at something until it is just right can pay off. A person may write a better novel, have a more attractive home or build a more successful business. A lot of good craftsmen, mechanics, surgeons probably would be considered perfectionistic – thankfully!

The winning formula for a perfectionist, psychologists say, is the ability to strive for excellence without being overly self-critical. Those who adopt this strategy, so-called healthy perfectionists, are relaxed and careful in their quest for success; they focus on their strengths and find great satisfaction in their achievements.

In fact, research conducted over the past 15 years has associated positive perfectionism with greater achievement, such as higher grades and better performance in triathlons. Positive-striving perfectionism leads to better health and mood, more sociability and higher levels of life satisfaction. When Bieling and his colleagues separated positive perfectionists from unhealthy ones in their 2003 midterm exam study, they found that the positive perfectionists felt better prepared for the exam and got higher grades than either unhealthy perfectionists or non-perfectionists. Olympic athletes also turned out to be positive perfectionists when assessed by Frost’s test in a small survey published in 2002.

Does Healthy Perfectionism Buffer Against Defeat?
In a 2007 study, Stoeber and co-workers showed that in real-world situations, healthy perfectionism buffers people from being crushed by failure and enables them to derive more satisfaction from success. The researchers first evaluated 121 college students to determine whether they were positive perfectionists, negative perfectionists or non-perfectionists. Investigators then gave the students a test that supposedly measured emotional and social intelligence—qualities, they told the students, which are important for success in life. The investigators randomly told half the participants that they had done well on the test and the others that they had received low scores. After receiving the bogus news, test takers filled out a questionnaire that measured their emotional state. Healthy perfectionists experienced more pride when informed of a high test score and fewer negative emotions when notified that they had done poorly than either the unhealthy perfectionists or the non-perfectionists.

Still, the notion that perfectionism can be positive remains controversial. Many experts argue that most people who strive for perfection also have some of the self-defeating concerns. It is claimed (by Stoeber) that perfectionists are more ego-involved in everything they do. A couple of studies have shown that healthy perfectionists are more depressed and neurotic than non-perfectionists are. And despite having invented the tools that inspired the term “positive perfectionism,” Frost and Hewitt do not believe in it. They use other words to describe highly effective people, calling them high in conscientiousness or achievement striving.

Practicing Imperfection
Perfectionism is not a diagnosis, and few therapists treat it as a stand-alone problem. Perfectionists are similarly unlikely to seek help, in part because the uncompromising thoughts and habits are so ingrained that individuals do not recognise their downside. Even when perfectionists do see a problem, they may be loathed to change. Who of us would want to go into treatment and come out happy with being average?! But being average is not the goal; where perfectionism counseling exists, its aim is taming the trait’s destructive side. At first therapists help patients recognise how the problem affects their life. Do they have difficulty making decisions because they are afraid of catastrophic repercussions if they make the wrong choice? Do they have trouble delegating at work or sharing chores at home because they do not trust that the job will get done right? Patients might keep a diary of incidents that elicit such feelings.

After identifying the situations that prompt a patient’s perfectionism, along with the distorted thinking patterns involved, the therapist can design a treatment plan. Counsellors challenge thought processes such as the belief that dwelling on mistakes is important. Perfectionists may be convinced that ruminating excessively over errors is necessary to learn from them. But sometimes, exaggerated self-criticism keeps people stuck, preventing them from changing.

In the behavioral component of the therapy, patients practice being imperfect:
they must defy one of their standards to find out whether the result is really as bad as they imagine. They are encouraged to deliberately make small mistakes, such as “forgetting” to buy something on their shopping list. Academically driven patients are asked to write two essays, working as hard as they usually would on one and forcing themselves to put less effort into the other. The papers are given to a teacher for informal grading. Typically the clients learn that the slacker paper is as good as the one they slaved over.

Preliminary data suggest such methods can improve perfectionism’s attendant ills. In four recent small studies by Wade, Shafran and others, as little as four to eight weeks of therapy for perfectionism reduced symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder, depression and bulimia—and, in 10th-grade girls, helped to diminish negative body image. Meanwhile treatment does not blunt the desire for excellence. It seems to be able to touch the bad without also reducing the good sort of perfectionism.

Short of serious illness, perfectionists may need informal ways to limit their fervent desire to be faultless. A first step, suggested in the 2009 book When Perfect Isn’t Good Enough, by Martin Antony and Richard Swinson, may be to reevaluate your standards. Ask yourself, What would be the costs of relaxing these? Set specific goals for change: “Be willing to gain two kilos without getting upset” is more helpful than “Become less perfectionistic about physical appearance.” Identify perfectionistic thoughts such as “I should always be entertaining and funny” and list alternatives such as “People will not judge me on the basis of one uncomfortable interaction.” Evaluate the evidence for your beliefs—say, that something tragic will happen if you perform a task imperfectly. Try to see your situation from another person’s perspective; it is likely that this person would be easier on you than you are on yourself…..

If, after reading all of this, you are curious to find out what type of perfectionist you might be, then you can download a test for it here.

References:
◆ Emily Laber-Warren (2009). Can You Be Too Perfect? Scientific American Mind, vol 20. Nr 4 p.44-51

◆ Don E. Hamachek (1978). Psychodynamics of Normal and Neurotic Perfectionism. Psychology, Vol. 15, pages 27–33.

◆ David D. Burns (1980). The Perfectionist’s Script for Self-Defeat.   Psychology Today, Vol. 14, No. 11, pages 34–52.

◆ Randy O. Frost, Richard G. Heimberg, Craig S. Holt, Jill I. Mattia and Amy L. Neubauer (1993). A Comparison of Two Measures of Perfectionism. Personality and Individual Differences, Vol. 14, No. 1, pages 119–126.

◆ Joachim Stoeber and Kathleen Otto (2006). Positive Conceptions of Perfectionism: Approaches, Evidence, Challenges.  Personality and Social Psychology Review, Vol. 10, No. 4, pages 295–319.

◆ Martin M. Antony and Richard P. Swinson (2009). When Perfect Isn’t Good Enough: Strategies for Coping with Perfectionism. Second edition. New Harbinger Publications.